Hots Hold Weekly Press Conference

Kouzmanoff Records Solid Week for First Time This Season

Hot Wheeler third baseman Kevin "Kripsy Kreme" Kouzmanoff weathered an awful April but appears to have turned the corner, as evidenced by his stats for the previous week: 1 run scored, 5 runs batted in, and an OBP of .632. The Kremer's performance raises his season OBP to .258.

Johnson Outdistancing Pujols

Kelly Johnson ($12) is outpacing Big Albert Pujols ($44) through the season so far. Consider these statistics:

Johnson: 32-6-26-4-.389
Pujols: 19-7-23-0-.372

With the slow starts from Pujols and Bay, Hot Wheelers have hopes to climb from 10th to 9th place by mid-season.

Hot Wheeler of the Week Named

Hot Wheeler closer Jose Valverde has been named the recipient of the recent Hot Wheeler of the Week award. Over the previous week, Jose saved 5 games for the squad, averaging one K per game while recording a WHIP of 0.40. Jose's performance helped vault the Hot Wheelers into a tie for first place in Saves.

Fans Confused by Logan Mismanagement

"Look, Nook Logan led the team with an OBP for 1.000 for most of April. Little Nookie was the bomb. I just don't understand why management would hold onto him through April, only to discard him so quickly in May," whined Nelly Logan, a fan watching last night's game from the upper deck.

Molina Rides 13-Game Streak Into Tonight's Game

While home baseman Yadier Molina has yet to show any flashes of power this season, he is reaching base consistently. Yadier brings a 13-game hitting streak into tonight's game. According to the team statistician, "We plan to petition the commissioner for a special bonus to be awarded on the last day of the season to the team with the catcher with the longest hitting streak during the season. Think what 10 bonus points could do! This could be huger than interleague play and the playoff wildcard combined! It could rejuvenate fantasy baseball and interest in catchers! While we haven't yet discussed the novel idea with the commissioner, it seems a no-brainer."