Hots Hold Weekly Press Conference

Hot Wheelers Climb to Upper Division

Despite the fact that their only win during the past week came from a middle reliever, for the first time in weeks, the Hot Wheelers have cracked the upper division, in 6th place going into today's games.

"We're not where we'd like to be," noted a hot official, "but we must confess that 6th is much better than 12th."

Logan Surrenders Award

Despite continuing to lead the squad with a perfect on-base-percentage of 1.000 for the season, Hot Wheeler Nook Logan declined to accept that Hot Wheeler of the Week award for a record fourth consecutive week.

"To be honest, the attention that I've received by winning this award has just been too much," Nook said. "I can't even stop for a Slurpee without being mobbed by Hot Wheeler fans. While it's given me something to do since I only played in one game in April, I need a break as I begin my rehab."

Nook is expected to return to the team in May.

Hot Wheeler of the Week Award Awarded

Hot Wheeler rookie Kelly Johnson has been named the recipient of the coveted Hot Wheeler of the Week award. Kelly scored 9 runs, plated 4 runs, hit 1 home run, swiped 1 base, and was on base at an Logan-esque .613 pace.

Hot Wheeler of the Month Award Awarded

Hot Wheeler rookie Kelly Johnson has been named the recipient of the coveted Hot Wheeler of the Month award for the month of April. Kelly scored 24 runs, plated 15 runs, hit 5 home runs, swiped 3 bases, and was on base at a .473 pace.

"Kelly, along with Hanley Ramirez and Jose Cruz Jr., kept our team afloat during this difficult first month of the season," a hot official released. "While it may be difficult for Kelly to maintain his hot tempo, our anchors Albert Pujols and Jason Bay are showing signs of returning to their expected top form. With their help, we hope to maintain a position in the upper division of the highly competitive Iowa Farm League."

Pitching Staff Evaluated

"Our staff has clearly not lived up to expectations," hot team officials noted. "We know that our staff prefers warmer weather, and think that there's ground to be made up on the pitching side of the ledger."

"While the closers and late relief has been fairly solid, the five in our starting rotation need to pick up some wins. Four of the five are excelling in K's and WHIP, but the Wins just aren't there. We think that will change and help us to maintain our tenuous hold on 6th place."

Statistician Reveals Revealing Statistic

"Kevin 'Krispy Kreme' Kouzmanoff, the squad's starting third baseman, is batting a meager .118 through the month of April. His OBP of .169 exceeds only that of Cristian Guzman's .000. The combined OBP of Nook Logan's perfect stats at the plate and the Kremer is a mere .180," the team statistician revealingly revealed.

"That's obviously not acceptable to our fans or our organization," Hot Wheeler Owner Jeff Wheeler noted to the press. "However, the Kremer has our complete confidence - given the fact that no viable options are available in free agency - and we expect him to improve upon this .169 OBP, raising it perhaps as high as .190 by the All Star break."