Hots Hold Weekly Press Conference

Team Responds to Motivational Speech

Cedar Rapidian Zach Johnson, recently winner of the Masters Golf Tournament, gave a stirring motivational talk to the Hot Wheelers, who have started the season with a cool streak. The team appears to have responded, turning in the lowest score for the week. The squad carded an astounding 28 under par, with a total score of 44 going into today's games. The Drizbags are the closest contenders, at 8 shots back.

Stars Setting Cool Pace

With just a few weeks into the season, stars Albert Pujols and Jason Bay are pacing themselves. According to Bay, "We don't want to get off to too hot of a start and fade in June or July - as often happens to a certain team from the Chicago area."

Idol "Contestant" Fails to Show

The American Idol "contestant" scheduled to sing the National Anthem prior to last Friday's game failed to arrive, causing moments of uncertainty prior to the game. Fans didn't seem disturbed. "We offered to refund ticket prices to fans that came expressly to hear this contestant; however, we haven't yet received any requests for refunds," a team spokesman explained.

Hot Wheeler of the Week Awarded

Hot Wheeler outfielder Nook Logan received the coveted Hot Wheeler of the Week award, following a week's performance in which he still leads the team with a perfect on-base-percentage (OBP). "Nook's still batting a perfect 1.000 several weeks into the season, and that performance demands recognition," a Hot spokesman gushed.

Ramirez Shocked by Announcement

Hanley Ramirez, an anchor of last year's championship team, expressed shock and dismay regarding the Hot Wheeler of the Week award. Ramirez' stats for the past week suggest that he may have a case: 4 runs, 1 stolen base, and an OBP of .643. Ramirez' case may have been even stronger had he been able to play more games.

Injury List at 3

With the return of Hanley Ramirez and Chris B. Young this past week, the squad's injury list is at "3". Nook Logan, Cristian Guzman, and Nick Johnson continue to ride the pine. Logan and Guzman are expected to be out for several more days, while a time table for Johnson's return has not yet been set.

Jorge Julio Released

Following an exceptionally cold start this season, which saw Julio lose his position as one of the the team's three closers, Jorge Julio has been given his unconditional release. "Jorge Julio just wasn't as hot as we thought he'd be," GM Matt Wheeler explained. "We sincerely regret offering Julio a guaranteed salary of $8."

Kevin Gregg has been signed to a short-term contract to fill Julio's spot. Gregg welcomed the news, and celebrated with a WHIP of "INF" in his first appearance as a Hot Wheeler.

Cruising to 200

Hot Wheeler outfielder Jose Cruz cruised to his 200th career home run this past week. "I'm just so happy to have reached this milestone as a Hot Wheeler," Cruz reported. "Words just can't express what I'm feeling right now."